Fung's heist
by Coneofwonders
Summary: (Inspired by rooster teeth's heist series) After hearing that the five are out of town for the next few days, Fung and his gang believe that this is the perfect opportunity to pull off a minor heist in a get rich quick attempt. Will they succeed or fail miserably as always? Will they even be able to get past just planning the heist? One can only hope...
1. Planning the Heist

"Okay guys, listen up because I'm only going to repeat myself once"!

Somewhere within an old house in the middle of a swamp, a group of crocodiles surrounded a map of the Valley of peace pinned down to an old small wooden table with rocks. The small room that they were housed in was rather dark, so in order to see the map, all five crocs had to get as close as they could to look at it. In fact they were so close that their snouts were touching the top of the table.

The largest croc, Fung, the one wearing an old spiked helmet, pointed to the map.

"Thanks to our latest intel, we now know that the Furious five are out of town for the next few days! This will give us the best chance to rob the stores that carry the most income here, here and here"! He spoke loudly, indicating each stores position with his finger.

"Uhh, where"? Another croc asked. This one was much thinner and was known as Fung's right hand man. His name Gahri, or as everybody else called him, Gary. Fung sighed at the crocs question.

"Alright. Okay, you see my finger Gary? Huh? do you"? He asked, waving his hand right next to Gahri's face. Any closer and he'd have been slapping his eye balls.

"Yes"?

"Alright now watch closely"

He put his finger on one area of the map, going over it slowly. "Here"! And another. "Here"! and the last one. "And he"-

"Yes, I know WHERE we're robbing, but... what are the names of the stores we're robbing, cause I can't exactly make out the writing"?

"For pete's sake Gary! Didn't they teach you how to read back in elementary?! We're robbing... uh...well, um... you know, this store. Ya know? Cause this store is really important, and"...

The fact that there was little light within the room to begin with made it exceptionally hard to make out any of the small worded Chinese writing above each store that was housed inside the land of the Valley of Peace. After a few seconds of trying to make out the writing, Fung grabbed it and pulled it off the table causing the stones holding it in place to fall to the ground.

After very close inspection, in which Fung's snout was pressed into the middle of the map just so he could try and view the writing for himself, which ended up in vain, he groaned in frustration and opened the front door to the room in which the light from outside could enter. The only problem being that it stopped before it could reach the table.

"Darn it"! Fung snapped in frustration before attempting to pull the table forwards on his own. Little did he know that the legs of the table had been bolted down months back. Eventually after digging his heels into the floor, pulling and wheezing for a full minute, in which none of his croc henchmen bothered to help out and just simply watched the scene being played out before them, Fung decided to give up and put a couple of fingers between his eyes, thinking on how to solve this simple problem.

"Okay"... He turned from the table to the group. "Everyone on me"!

So after some brainstorming, the problem had been solved, and by solved I mean to say that Fung just simply laid the map on the floor where the light shone through while his follow bandits did their best to peek over his shoulder, the plan was back in action.

"Now as I was saying! We're going to rob these, I repeat, THESE! Three stores"! He pointed to each one for a good five seconds to make sure that there would be no more confusion among the bandits, especially Gahri. "Now remember guys, strength in numbers! We need to rob each store one at a time in order to show those snooty shopkeepers who the boss is around here! Now"-

Fung paused. There was a constant being going "Ooh ooh" While raising his hand into the air, eager to get something off of his chest. Any guesses on who that certain croc was?

"What now Gary"?

"It's just that, if we rob one store at a time, don't you think there'll be more of a chance of us getting caught"? Gahri asked, doing what he could to help out his leader. However after Fung glaring at him and stood up to face him angrily, he wished he hadn't said a word.

"Oh, I'm sorry Gary! Do YOU want to be the leader"? He snapped while Gahri held his hands up in front of him in an effort to defend himself if necessary as he spoke back.

"No, I just think that"-

"Oh, you don't? That's a shame". Fung spoke sarcastically. "Cause I always wanted for you to be the brave leader while I be the nosy little right hand man, THAT ALWAYS INTERRUPTS EVERY TEN SECONDS"! He yelled, nearly covering Gahri with spit before spinning back round and returning to the map.

"Now if there are no further interruptions"-

"FUNG, WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE"?

Fung face palmed upon hearing an elderly woman's voice from upstairs calling down.

"MOM! WE'RE BUSY PLANNING STUFF"!

Fung didn't exactly have a lair or a hideout or any type of structure that other villains and bandits had. Instead he and his gang was forced to use his parent's basement. Whenever Gahri had ever asked Fung when they'd be moving out and getting a real hideout, Fung would always snap at him, sometimes throwing his helmet to the ground depending on whether they had come back from the valley of peace after pulling another UN-successful heist, and always told him that it was temporary. The first time he had said that was three years ago and the only change was the pink flower wallpaper which had been added six months back.

"ALRIGHT THEN! LOVE YOU SON"!

"YEAH, LOVE YOU TOO MOM"! Fung yelled back, pulling his helmet down a little to cover his eyes from his fellow crocs in embarrassment as they tried their best not to laugh.

"Gahh, you guys are like, so childish". He pouted.

"Alright. NOW if there are no further interruptions"! He paused for a moment and looked in every direction, almost certain that somebody, somewhere, was going to interrupt him. After hearing nothing but sweet peaceful silence, he continued.

"Gary and Waldon are my back up (I don't know the names of any of the crocs except for Fung and Gahri, so for future reference the other three crocs will be known as Waldon, Sheldon and Jed until further notice) While Sheldon and Jed keep a lookout for the Dragon warrior should he show up".

Fung then pointed to the road out of town.

"If he does, Jed will take this route and distract him while the rest of us move onto the remaining stores if any. Once we've collected all the money, anybody want to take a guess on what we're gonna spend it on, hm? Anyone"?

"Will I be able to buy that second story about the milkmaid and the stable boy"?

This time, Fung went ahead and threw his helmet to the ground, sick of his right hand's stupid answers and questions.

"NO! We'll finally have enough money to"...

"Buy a hideout"? The smaller croc, Sheldon, took a guess.

"RENT! Rent a hideout guys! I mean, come on! What, you think I'm made of money here? Gahh"...

"Ohh"... All four Crocs sighed, their sudden enthusiasm gone as though it had been sucked out with a vacuum. Fung ignored it and continued.

"Not to mention that if we pull this off, it'll be our first successful heist in years! At last I'll be able to prove to my dad that I don't need a job at his terracotta warrior shop! YOU HEAR THAT DAD? I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY"!

A moment of silence passed.

"FUNG, YOUR FATHER DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, REMEMBER"? Fung's mother shouted out, killing the mood.

"Gahh... Yea mom, I know"! Fung turned back to the group of Crocs. "Okay guys! Let's do this"!

As that was the signal, every single croc yelled before charging out the door and running up the stairs like a stampeded of wild buffalo. Apart from Fung who had been accidentally flattened into the ground thanks to his over eager group who had been standing behind him the whole time. Stunned at first, he managed to push himself back onto his feet, readjusted his helmet before running after his gang calling out for them to slow down as they emerged from the old house and down the murky catwalk which led out of the swamp. The heist was in effect.

...

I got the idea for this story watching Achievement Hunters Heist series so most of the credit should go to Rooster teeth here.

I'm not exactly too good at humor so be warned, this story might suck a little.

Moving on, I hope I was able to capture the silliness and personalities of all the croc bandits. It took some time to watch some of the episodes that feature them so I had to "technically" go into a bit of research for this one. Even so, I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter of the story. There will be another one or two after this, I really haven't decided just yet. But as long as you guys were entertained that's all that matters to me.

Thanks for reading. Cheerio!


	2. Store 1

After trekking though the bamboo forest, on which Fung managed to get him and his gang lost twice, explaining that he was only trying to get his bearings, the suns setting indicated that the day was moving into the evening where there wouldn't be as many villagers out shopping which would mean that there was a lesser chance of getting caught. Of course, there still remained the possibility that the shopkeepers were still inside closing up shop, but come on, what could one shopkeeper do against five crocodile bandits?

At the safety of the forest line, Fung pulled out the map of the Valley of Peace while his lackeys crowded round, one having to be pushed out of the way as they were blocking the light.

"Alright guys, this is it"! Fung smiled with determination. "The nearest target is right down this street"! Fung pointed towards the deserted street beyond the tree line to his right. "Now remember, stick to the plan and we'll be able to rent that house before you know it"! He grinned.

"Do we have a backup plan in case something we are unprepared for pops up"? Gahri asked as he was looking out for the group. Fung however took it as an insult. To think that a plan that he had spent much time on would need extra cover! He was almost about to rip his helmet off of his head until he paused, knowing that he couldn't risk yelling at his right hand croc when they were so close to the village. He would make a mental note to do that later. Instead, he calmed himself down and took a few steady breaths before facing the skinny croc, picking up the map as he did and held it in front of Gahri.

"Okay. Gary, take a good look at this map. You see these lines? Right here"? Fung pointed to the two red lines, which had been drawn with a crayon, that led in and out of the front entrance, as well as link all three targeted stores together, to the valley of peace. "This like, took a lot of time to work on! Ya know? So the least you could do, is treat me with a little respect and dignity"!

Glad to have gotten his point across, Fung rolled the map back up and took a step forward out of the tree line as he kept his snout to the map, not realizing that the slope he was walking on was a little steeper than he first thought. His foot stepped a little too far forward and he began tumbling down the hill, screaming as he went while the four crocs above watched as he finally stopped at the bottom. He had landed in a puddle of mud and had destroyed whatever "dignity" he had been talking about.

Luckily for them, they had learned from Fung's mistake and watched their footing. Once the last one had made it down safely, they all walked up to their leader while he was scraping the last of the wet mud off of his chest, muttering angrily to himself.

"Are you okay Fu"-

Before Gahri could finish, Fung shoved the map of the village into his face showing that he didn't even want to hear it.

"Alright Gary, where is it that we are heading"?

Taking his given role at once, less he dared argue back and tick off Fung any more, Gahri checked the map and noted the three circled buildings and the lines that linked them together and tapped the closest of the three buildings which happened to be Mr. Ying's grocery shop. Perhaps if they had enough time he might be able to get some of those delicious melons that are sold near the front entrance.

"To the fifth building on the right". Gahri spoke as he studied and analysed the map, checking for any shortcuts that Fung might not have noticed as he did. At once, the crocs moved out behind Gahri and followed him in single file as he led the whole group as though he was the leader. They entered the village as silently as they could and kept to the shadows as best they could. Upon coming across the first targeted building, which actually happened to be a blue and white striped tent, Gahri stopped. His movement was so sudden that Fung bumped into Gahri, then Waldon into Fung, and so forth until the last one bumped in the croc in front of him and falling over with a thud.

"Alright, let's go". Fung smiled, walking in through the tent entrance and immediately spotted the small blue and silver box stacked on the main counter. Even to Fung it felt a little odd that the shop keeper would just so willingly let his money box hang in sight so casually. It could have been possible that the shop keeper would eventually return. Fung would be certain that he would not be around when he did and walked over to the box, snatching it off the counter and inspected every corner of it for a little while before coming to a conclusion.

"How the heck do we open this"?

Looking to his fellow bandits, they simply shrugged as they were just as clueless. Fung turned back to the box, stared at it for a moment, and then tried to forcibly open it with his scaly fingers. From a small pull to using as much strength as he could muster, Fung was unable to open the box. He near strained himself what with the amount of pulling he was doing. Eventually he grumbled and set it down on the floor, with a new plan in his head. He tried to crush the box under his own weight by jumping on it. Unfortunately he only ended up doing more damage to himself as he accidentally slipped on the box's top and took a rather nasty fall onto his back. Maybe he should have brought a crowbar. After an annoyed sigh, he stood back up and found each and every crocs eyes looking at him. Well, all but one of Waldons which looked upwards before blinking, causing it to look down. Fung glared at them angrily before snatching the box from the floor.

"What"? He asked rudely. "We'll open it when we get back. Kay? Gahh"...

On the bright side, it was one store down, only another two to go.

...

Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated for some time. I've been in Holland for the last few weeks. But I'm back now so I'll try to get a chapter done every week if I can. Also, I've changed my mind. There will be 4 to 6 chapters on this story now that I've had the chance to think it over. Cheerio!


	3. Store 2

A few short turns was all it took before the crocs reached the second store. This one was an actual building this time and not a tent like the last one. It was small and was known to sell clothing. Maybe if there was enough time Fung could get a couple of his guys to grab a few ornaments and junk. Would really liven up the soon to be rented apartment up. Of course before any of that could be done. There remained a single obstacle that stood in their way. The doors and windows were locked.

On the upside, this wasn't the first locked door they had come across. There was that one incident a few months back where they had tried to unlock one at the dragon warriors fathers noodle shop which cost Fung his right hand man Gahri for a few days. Even so, it was highly unlikely that this was going to end the same way. Fung would make sure of it.

"Alright. What have we got"? He asked himself, examining the wooden rectangular object in front of him, checking it from all angles until he confirmed his suspicions. "Yup. It's a door alright".

"How are we going to get in there? Both the window and door is locked". Gahri pointed out.

"No kidding Gary! What, you think I couldn't figure that out myself? Huh? Cause I could!... Ya know? If I... wanted to".

Now that he was finished snapping at Gahri, He turned back to the door and thought hard. They couldn't exactly pick the lock because of how shabby his skills were at the simple skill. That and he had forgotten to bring the necessary equipment for the job which left one simple option. Break through the window. Of course it did seem rather simple. Not at all unoriginal, but Fungs choice of window wasn't the one next to the door, but the one above it which, by luck, was open. A rather promising sight that brought a smile to the leaders face. His eyes narrowed as he quickly came up with a way to get up to it.

"Boys, I've got an idea". He smiled as he turned back to the gang, huddled them around and shared his wisdom with them.

If the owner of the building were to look out the window of the second floor, he would have seen the top half of a crocodile swaying left to right trying to get its balance. Fung's "Brilliant" idea was simply stacking three crocs on top of each others shoulders in order for just one of them to get inside, grab whatever they could find and get out. The one on the very top was Waldon, who finally was able to grasp the ledge of the window and very carefully pulled himself up.

"Now remember Waldon. Take the stairs to the first floor, grab the gold and get out of there before the old geezers wake up alright"? Fung instructed the wall eyed croc who nodded in response before disappearing from his view.

One minute passed, then five, then ten. During the twenty minute mark, Fung was seriously regretting sending Waldon in on his own. Not because of the possibility that he may have been found out, but Waldon wasn't exactly the smartest of the gang. Not that that's saying much but it was still true. Fung slowly turned to check on the rest of his fellow partners in crime. Gahri was reading away with a book he had brought with him, Sheldon was sitting down and picking his nose with his tail and Jed simply just stood there doing absolutely nothing. Finally, after much too long, Waldon appeared from the top window again, cradling something in his hands.

"Gah, bout time". Fung muttered angrily before turning his full attention on Waldon. "Okay Waldon, just jump down carefully, and Gahri will catch you. Kay"?

"Uhh... I will".

"Yes. You will unless you want that book of yours stuffed up your nose"!

Garhi just sighed and shuffled over to the front of the window before holding his arms out, ready to catch his friend. Waldon jumped and instead of being safely caught, he instead nearly crushed Gahri due to the fact that he weighed more, sending both him and the skinnier croc to the ground. Both moaned in pain as Fung hovered over them happily.

"Alright Waldon, hand over the gold".

Waldon stood up and handed over to Fung... a dress. Fung held it in his claw.

"Wait. Wai- hold on. Where- Where's the gold"? He asked, flipping over the dress at all angles as though expecting even a single gold yuan to fall from it as he continued the blather on before calming down, putting his hand to his head to calm himself down, and stared at Waldon with tired eyes.

"Waldon. This is a dress. Why? Am I holding a dress"?

Waldons left eye looked off to the side for a moment before he replied.

"You's told me to get gold. I got you gold". He responded pointing to the dress, which was in fact gold colored, but was much less valuable.

"And you expect us to get money from this"? He snapped angrily until Gahri butted in.

"Well, this dress is made from rather expensive silk so it should be worth a pretty yuan in"-

Before Gahri had the chance to Finish, Fung, without even turning round, clamped his snout shut with one hand and threw him to the side without any emotion in his face whatsoever, as though it had now become a regular thing.

"Darn it guys"! He yelled, throwing the dress to the ground! "Now we've got to send someone else up into the house and"-

"Hello? Who's there"? Came a new voice. From inside the house that they were robbing. Fung and the others froze for a second before he gave them all a signal to retreat quietly. They ran away as silently as they could, Sheldon accidentally tripping over his own feet at one point before getting back up and continued running. Two houses down. Only one remained.

...

This one was a little tough to plan out. Still, I'm over the halfway point with this story so there's that positive view. Hope you enjoy the third chapter guys, and I'll have the next one up sometime next week. Cheerio!


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